Piegate!

There were actually two of these fairly recently in Scotland.

The first of these was Frank McAveety turning up late for parliament because he was tucking into a plate of pie, beans and roast potatoes.

This one is, um, "excellent." It seems that, some time in 2004 (I could check back...but I don't want to risk internal bleeding), Frank McAveety was late for something in the Scottish parliament because he couldn't drag his lardy arse away from his lunch. This one is almost the archetype of a "-gate" story.

Story involving a non-entity? Check.
A real "who the hell cares" moment? Check.
Under-employed and semi-skilled journalists trying to make a really dull story seem like it's about to bring down the government and cause a crisis of confidence in western democracy? Check!

I really don't get this...I strongly suspect that part (although, clearly not all) of the reasons that professional journalism is suffering is because everything is packaged in such ridiculous terms. Reducing the level of public discourse to such half-witted cliches serves no-one and enrages me. I thought that these were people that were employed because they had some sort of facility for language and enough skill that they could produce copy that isn't littered with tired journalistic tropes.

The second "piegate" story might be slightly more important, but it's still a shameful piece of idiocy.

It's a sorta cash for access story. The SNP were offering lucky bidders the opportunity to tuck into lunch at Holyrood with Alex Salmond. Why anybody in their right mind would want to do so is pretty much beyond me anyway. The story itself does have some merit, given that it's against the rules for MSPs to use the facilities in this way.

However (wait...for...it!) Piegate?

Come on: first it's been done before (see above) and, second, I can't see any mention of pies in the story at all (maybe that's all they feed MSPs?). Treat us like adults please, journalists! I'm pretty sure that anybody interested enough would have sufficient intellectual capabilities to cope with writing that goes beyond such weak rhetoric!